Hair-ummm...?

After searching my nose this morning for candy and other buried treasure, I discovered a single white nose hair (not to be confused with a single white female). Is this an indication of old age? Is my time on this planet starting its slow painful descent to the grave? Am I gradually transforming into Santa Claus?? I did also find a belly on my stomach this morning, but that's nothing new. It would be truly ironic if I were suddenly morphing into St. Nick considering I recently purchased reindeer sausage. I have yet to eat it. I'm saving it for Christmas Eve. I hoped it would teach Santa a lesson for leaving lit coal in my stocking last year and nearly burning down my house (the gingerbread variety).

This single strand of monochromatic nose hair is dangling out of my right nostril like an escape rope for whatever miniscule damsel is trapped in my nasal passages. At first I thought it was finely woven mucus, but upon closer inspection, it turned out to be a long strand of hair-string peaking out of my nose and looking for an eye of a needle to pass through. My immediate reaction was to clip it with a nail cutter (I don't have skissors handy) or to grasp it between index finger and thumb and yank it out like there's no tomorrow.

[Sidebar: If I yank, then I am the yanker and therefore, the hair would be the yankee. If that's the case, who is the yanker of the yankees? A-Rod's girlfriend? Heyyyoooohhhh!]

But then I stared at it for a moment longer and realized how unique it was. This single white strand asserting itself in a bushel of black hairs. How could I destroy this ugly ducking when it may yet still transform into the nose-hair equivalent of a swan? I'm really not sure what that would be, but I am excited to find out. Maybe it'll turn into cashmere. Who knows? Not to mention, I also have the irrational fear that if I yank the thread-like hair, somehow my whole sweater will unravel.

So hanging out my nostril it remains, oscillating in the wind like the pendulum of a grandfather clock. Perhaps it's just my nose that's turning into a grandfather. I hope the rest of my hair doesn't go salt and pepper on me. How odd it would be to have white leg hairs. I could just say I was wearing mink boots. But let's not get ahead of myself. My one nostril hair is enough. I shall call it Snowball. I just really hope this whole white hair thing doesn't start to, you know, snowball.

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