Monday, October 5, 2009

Words with The oGRE


That's not a hug, that's an abduction.

A passage written almost entirely in GRE vocabulary:

The stolid but stalwart novitiate prevaricated the inimical harangue by fallaciously paraphrasing the elegic obloquy of an urbane and spleen progenitor. However, the impetuous, saturnine, and jejune tyro equivocated inchoate intimations that inveighed veracity and engendered disultory promulgations, fomenting a proliferation of inauspicious opprobrium. The neotitialate remonstrapulated the exigentuousity of the falendipitous resplengence akin to a malifstontae capalictus deronstata and pusillanimous puissant forendent nakamura pluribus unum poughkeepsie duodenum oblongata krzyzewski teppanyaki veni vidi vici optimus expiallodocious pinky toe.

Translation: Fuck Your Life cuz you're not getting a good score on this exam, you torpid-minded ignoramus. Even Ghostwriter can't help you now!

A passage written almost entirely in Boogie Brown vocrapulary:
I don't get it, you walk on a "runway," walk forwards on a "sidewalk," and sit down at the "movies." wtf?

Translation: I need friends, but there are obvious reasons why I don't have so many in the first place. I was so disappointed when I found out that "Paypal" wasn't a rent-a-friend service. Platonic escort FAIL.

Needless to say, I didn't score quite as high on The GRE as Zack Morris did on the SAT (fifteen hundred and two to be exact).


I think Stansbury is calling.

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